Funny Don’t California My Utah Shirt

 Every GODDAMN day for  Funny Don’t California My Utah Shirt almost 4 months I was attacked twice - going down and coming up. Sometimes the temp was 90 degrees but you better believe I wore full jeans and a padded jacket. My hair would always be messed up when I crossed the woods, and I would have scratch marks on my face, but my grandparents believed this was all part of a big scheme to get them to get rid of the turkey before Thanksgiving. It became a big joke. Arnold was a meek little puppy around everyone else. When November break came around, my grandparents sat me down and told me they had discussed it, and if I was really that determined to set Arnold free, they would respect my wishes and give him to a zoo. FUUUUUUUUUCK that. I told them I would chop Arnold's head off myself. And that's exactly what I did the day before Thanksgiving. Looked him right in the eye too. WHO'S THE BIG BIRD NOW, ASSHOLE?? No more veganism for me. My grandparents are both gone now. I wish I could have shown them this. They talked every Thanksgiving about Arnold and how I "pretended" he was attacking me.Can confirm. I have a small farm and was once gifted a Tom turkey. This turkey belonged to a man who treated it like a pet, and was best friends with it. 

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