Funny Official Sunflower Alabama Flag Shirt

 Im a Funny Official Sunflower Alabama Flag Shirt turkey farmer. People laugh when i tell them but you wouldnt believe how vicious full grown stag turkeys (males) get. They grow up to 20kgs or more and when you turn your back on one they will charge from behind trying to take your legs out from underneath you. Theyll also try and bite holes out of you as you walk past them or stand still by them and theyll jump up to about knee height and fly into you claws first. They are aggressive to each other aswell. If one is injured eg limping or has a broken wing the others will see it gang up and peck it to death quickly. When I was a teenager I moved onto my grandparent's farm. They had a turkey they named Arnold (after Schwarzenegger) because he was a heckin big boi. Bigger than my scrawny 4'10" ass. They bought him in August and let him run around so we could all have the "real country experience" of tasting a wild (more or less) bird for Thanksgiving. I was an animal lover and I wasn't happy with this - I went vegan in protest.Since we lived up on a mountain, I had to walk about a mile and a half through woods to get to where the schoolbus would pick me up. AND EVERY TIME I WAS OUT OF SIGHT OF THE HOUSE, that motherfucker would jump out and attack. I never knew where it was hiding.

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 Oh God that's just brought back a  Bloot Inside Me You Can’t Scare Me I Work For Amazon Shirt humiliating memory of when I used to work at a petting zoo/farm. They had a massive turkey that would just chase me around the farmyard and corner me whenever he spotted me. I even had my own alarm call over the radio so one of the other members of staff could intervene and chase him off it happened so frequently. Turns out he just sensed I'm a little bitch.... When I lived in Kentucky out in the sticks our neighbor had a Guard Turkey named Elvis. It was very friendly with the guy who owned it but terrorized everyone, and everything else. That motherfucker was HUGE and took shit from no one. It would regularly chase stray dogs off the property and the mailman wouldn't deliver packages to him anymore because of Elvis. We would be sitting on the porch and hear it gobbling, and we would all nervously laugh and make sure he wasn't sneaking up on us. Elvis wound up being attacked
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